Self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-regard, healthy self-esteem... how do these impact us, including being creative?
In this episode, a number of artists and psychologists talk about their perspectives and some of the research.
Actor Michelle Rodriguez said,
“I don’t think it’s narcissistic at all to love yourself and believe in yourself. I think some people are really scared to do that.
“I have to. If I don’t, I would not succeed in what I do.”
In an interview for The Self-Acceptance Summit, Sounds True founder Tami Simon asked author Elizabeth Gilbert (Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear; Eat, Pray, Love) why self-acceptance is important to her personally.
Gilbert replied: "Well, I mean I’ve kind of been a student of it my whole life because I’ve had to be, because its moments of absence in my life have brought me the darkest pain I’ve ever been in."
» The live Self-Acceptance Summit is over. Here are some related resources:
⏺ Self-Acceptance books and programs by various authors, from Sounds True.
The page notes about the program "Radical Self-Acceptance" that author Dr. Tara Brach "says the most difficult—and pervasive—challenge to Westerners today is the suffering caused by our feelings of unworthiness and self-aversion.
"Radical Self-Acceptance offers a way to break out of this emotional prison, so you can discover the freedom that comes with kindness and true appreciation of yourself and others."
The page also includes The Self-Acceptance Summit recordings, with presenters Caroline Myss, Tara Brach, Matt Kahn, Richard Schwartz, Adyashanti, many more
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⏺ The Self-Acceptance Summit: Volume 1: How to Overcome Self-Judgment and Live a Life of Bravery, Compassion, and Authenticity (Audible Audiobook) – Elizabeth Gilbert (Author, Narrator), Iyanla Vanzant (Author, Narrator), Parker J. Palmer PhD (Author, Narrator), & 8 more.
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Julie Bjelland, LMFT is a psychotherapist, author and educator specializing in helping highly sensitive people thrive.
One of her courses is "Brain-Training for the Highly Sensitive Person and the Neurodivergent — Techniques to Reduce Anxiety & Overwhelming Emotions."
A testimonial: “This course gave me clarity, understanding, and acceptance of myself and what I need to thrive; like having an owner’s manual to myself as an HSP. I started the course feeling depleted and easily knocked down by life’s challenges. I now feel centered, resilient, empowered, energetic, and joyful, and am feeling and bringing my best to my life and to the people in it.” — Michelle, California
⏺ Learn about Courses for the Sensitive and Neurodivergent by Julie Bjelland.
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Self-Compassion author and researcher Kristin Neff says “We often become our own worst critic because we believe it’s necessary to keep ourselves motivated.
“But the research shows that healthy self-compassion increases our inner drive, our resilience, and our ability to excel."
Kristin Neff courses and audio programs from Sounds True.
Books by Kristin Neff, PhD include
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
Self-Compassion Step by Step: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (Audible Audiobook)
Actor and playwright Tracy Letts comments:
“It’s hard to give yourself a break, isn’t it? You can’t just decide to do it. It’s not an act of will.
“It takes actual work, whether that means getting sober, getting into therapy, writing or acting in plays, or paying attention and really listening to other people.”
Therapist and author Julie Bjelland, LMFT helps Highly Sensitive People thrive.
She notes "Self-acceptance is one of the greatest foundations of feeling joyful. Conversely, self-rejection can be sneaky and a very painful place to operate from, especially as a deep-feeling, sensitive person."
The final part of this Creative Mind Audio episode is an excerpt from her HSP Podcast Episode 184 The Importance of Self-Acceptance with Willow and Julie.
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Related posts:
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See more resources below.
video with Kristin Neff
Kristin Neff thinks "one of the reasons we’re so attached to our self-criticism, even though it’s painful, is because I think it gives us the illusion of control."
She notes "First of all, self-compassion is about self- acceptance: 'I fully accept myself as I am, flaws and all, I have compassion, kindness, love, even though I’m not perfect, even though I fail.'
"And self-compassion is not about, you know, self-improvement or evaluating yourself (am I good enough or not), trying to do more more more so I can see myself positively. It really is about accepting who you are as you are.
"Doesn't self-acceptance mean being passive or complacent?...So if you accept things as they are, then how does that help motivate to make a change? And Carl Rogers talked about this very beautifully: 'You know the curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.'
"When we accept ourselves fully, and we embrace who we are, flaws and all, then it provides the safety needed to see ourselves clearly."
Dr. Neff was a speaker at The Self-Acceptance Summit (recordings available).
From the Summit page:
“For many years self-esteem was seen to be the key to psychological health,” teaches Kristin.
“More recently, however, researchers have identified several downsides to the pursuit of self-esteem such as narcissism, ego-defensiveness, social comparisons, and the contingency and instability of self-worth.
“Research suggests that self-compassion is a healthier way of relating to oneself, offering the benefits of self-esteem without its downsides.”
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Comments by Tracy Letts (“It’s hard to give yourself a break, isn’t it?” …) are from the end of this Off Camera podcast episode with Sam Jones.
The page notes Letts "won a Pulitzer Prize for his play August: Osage County, based on his own family, and in addition to his acting work on stage, he’s been in a number of projects on TV and in film, such as Homeland, Lady Bird, and most recently, Ford v Ferrari. There’s an empathy that suffuses all of Tracy’s work, and it all stems from his desire to achieve self-acceptance."
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