Probably all of us experience challenges at times in our personal, family, business and other relationships.
Psychologist Matt Zakreski points out "No one is good in ALL social situations, or in all aspects of a particular social situation."
Being a highly sensitive person can add more challenges to healthy relationships, as therapist and author Julie Bjelland, LMFT explains in this excerpt from a longer HSP Podcast episode.
And, of course, many of her perspectives about healthy friendships and other relationships can apply even if you are not among the 20-30% of us who are highly sensitive.
Notes for the episode from her site include:
"Highly sensitive people (HSPs) may encounter specific challenges when making friends due to their unique traits and sensitivities. Learn some reasons why HSPs might find it more challenging to make friends.
"HSPs can make friends by leveraging their unique traits and sensitivities. Learn some specific tips to help build meaningful friendships.
"Remember that making friends is not about changing who you are but finding individuals who appreciate you for your authentic self.
"It's perfectly okay to be selective about the people you allow into your life, as quality friendships can significantly impact your well-being as an HSP."
Listen to the full Episode 176: 10 Reasons Highly Sensitive People Feel Challenged Making Friends by Julie Bjelland, LMFT in the HSP Podcast section of her site, where you will also find her books, free webinars, courses, Sensitive Empowerment Community and other resources.
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Over the years, I have posted a number of articles about relationships. It is an area I have felt challenged in most of my life. Here are some of those related articles:
Matt Zakreski, PsyD is a clinical psychologist who helps neurodiverse clients. His quotes are from my post Expert Guidance For Navigating Relationships as a 2e Person.
The image for this podcast episode is from article How do trauma and attachment wounds affect our relationships?
Image is also used for another podcast episode of mine: "How attachment styles and trauma impact our relationships - with Dr Diane Poole Heller" - included in article How attachment styles and trauma impact our lives and relationships.
In that article, Dr Aimie Apigian, MD, MS, MPH notes “Trauma results in this belief that we are different, that we’re not enough, that there’s something about us that pushes people away or that we’re too much for other people.
“And so if they were to truly know us – all parts of us – then they would leave us, then they would kick us out, then they would reject us, abandon us.
"And those feelings of being abandoned and being different are so painful that our system responds in a self-protective way…”
Learn about her 21-Day Journey to Calm Aliveness Course.
More related articles:
How Can Highly Sensitive People enjoy healthier relationships and deal with toxic people?
Elaine N. Aron, PhD is one of the leading writers and researchers on the personality trait of high sensitivity (sensory processing sensitivity) and how it affects us as highly sensitive people or HSPs.
She said in an interview about her book The Highly Sensitive Person In Love that people with more sensitive and excitable constitutions and personalities “need help with intimacy.”
She explains: “Maybe we are afraid, have been hurt, and can’t forget it.
“Or we have trouble being known and appreciated for who we really are. Or we have trouble in relationships because of our different needs, so that we always feel ‘too much’ or ‘overly sensitive.’”
She also says highly sensitive people are “more likely to find sex to be mysterious and powerful, to be turned on by subtle rather than explicit sexual cues, to be easily distracted or physically hurt during sex, and to find it difficult to go right back to normal life afterwards.”
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Relationships can be a challenge for exceptional people
True peer relationships may be rare and demanding, perhaps especially for people who are exceptionally talented, creative, intense, sensitive, gifted. For some people, high sensitivity to others may demand protective isolation from hurtful relationships, even family members.
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Why Relationships Can Be Challenging, Especially as a Highly Sensitive Person