“I was in a situation where I loved and trusted this person more than I trusted myself.” Anna Kendrick
"Was I raised so that I was always trying to win their love?" Judith Orloff
"HSPs tend to be over-givers and toxic people tend to be over-takers.” Julie Bjelland
"That dysfunction can give us the message that I am not okay." Donna Jackson Nakazawa
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Actor Anna Kendrick talked about her own experience in a toxic relationship, which she explored in her movie Alice, Darling.
Hear some of her comments in the podcast, and more in this video [audio]:
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Narcissistic Parenting, Toxic Relationships - understanding and recovery
Psychiatrist Judith Orloff, MD suggests: "Backtrack to your upbringing. Did I have a narcissistic mother or father? Was I raised so that I was always trying to win their love?"
As for adult relationships with narcissists, Dr Orloff recalls that "Somebody I was working with had all the traits I had never experienced before...and he was so intelligent, brilliant, could talk with me about all the deep levels and all the deep things and go places with me and then no contact crumbs, the whole thing..."
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This Creative Mind Audio episode include excerpt of this HDP Podcast.
Notes page for the original "Episode 104: How to Avoid and Heal From Toxic Relationships, with Julie and Willow" (link in Resources) includes:
"HSPs tend to be over-givers and toxic people tend to be over-takers. This dynamic has been played out for many of us either in our families, friendships, romantic relationships, or even with work colleagues.
Recognizing Red Flags in Toxic Relationships
They might be very self-absorbed, not attentive, and have a sense of entitlement, and require excessive admiration
They put you down, you don’t feel good about yourself when with them
Monopolize conversations or look down on people
Ignore your needs" … See the episode page for more.
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How can toxic relationships impact our sense of self, our healthy self-regard?
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Image collage: Girl holding Teddy Bear is from podcast "Overcoming Adverse Childhood Experiences" with science journalist Donna Jackson Nakazawa.
She comments about some early adverse experiences, such as Narcissistic Parenting, that so many of us have: "Our little brains are so active and so busy trying to help us.
"But instead of saying 'My situation is not okay' - our developing brain doesn't have the wherewithal to do that - instead we go, 'I am not okay in who I am, in my body, in my being - I'm wrong, I'm terribly terribly wrong.'" » See link in resources below.
Image of a woman gesturing to 'stop' is from post 'What Are You Tolerating? How to Identify What’s Draining You' By Terri Cole (on her site). She is presenting on "Decoding the Connection Between Narcissistic Parents and Partners" at the Understanding Narcissism Summit. » See link in resources below.
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RESOURCES
» Understanding Narcissism Summit by Sounds True: "Features 20 Sessions of Insight and Guidance from Leading Experts in Psychology & Spirituality." (Judith Orloff, MD is a speaker.)
» Enjoy the full length original "Episode 104: How to Avoid and Heal From Toxic Relationships, with Julie and Willow" on the Sensitive and Neurodivergent Podcast on the Sensitive Empowerment site of Julie Bjelland, LMFT - where you can find many more of her articles, books, courses, Sensitive Community and other resources.
» Free class by Julie Bjelland: "How to Set Healthy Boundaries and Why it’s Essential for Wellness as an HSP" - See list of her free webinars.
» audio podcast (on Substack): "Overcoming Adverse Childhood Experiences" with science journalist and speaker Donna Jackson Nakazawa.
» More posts and podcasts on toxic relationships.
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National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support and many resources to help at thehotline.org.
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