How Does Motherhood (or Not) Affect Your Creative Life?
“The motherhood thing – I think of it like a marathon, except a marathon is over in a day.” Filmmaker Caren McCaleb.
“I’d be in the middle of a sentence and someone needed to go to mall for new shoes, so the sentence would be lost.” Author Amy Bloom
“It’s essential that sensitive moms get alone time.” HSP therapist and author Julie Bjelland
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How does being a mother affect a creative woman, especially someone engaged in a career in the arts?
Documentary editor and filmmaker Caren McCaleb: “The motherhood thing...is an endurance test and it’s something you absolutely can’t stop for a second.
“Part of what makes it really cool and interesting is almost anything [besides motherhood] you commit to, you can take a breather.”
The image at the top is from the 2013 documentary Lost in Living – “the story of four extraordinary women who share their personal triumphs and struggles as mothers and as artists and who uniquely define for themselves what it means to be a woman in our modern world.” [From statement by Director Mary Trunk.]
See trailer in my longer article: link below.
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Creative work can be challenging and disrupted with children in your life.
“I’d be in the middle of a sentence and someone needed to go to mall for new shoes, so the sentence would be lost.”
Author Amy Bloom adds, “When I started, I wrote late at night, after they were in bed.
“I could do that and get away with it because I’m not much of a housekeeper and I didn’t need much sleep. I liked my kids and didn’t care much about my house, so it worked.”
But, she admitted, “writing with children present is not productive.
“They really never go away. My daughter made a sign for my study door that says ‘Come in’ on one side, and on the other side it says: ‘Knock first, then come in.’ That’s a perfect description of me as a writer.”
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Actor Amy Adams thanked her 3-yr-old daughter Aviana for “Teaching me to accept joy and let go of fear” in her 2014 Golden Globe acceptance speech.
Actor Jennifer Connelly commented on being a single mother to her then two-and-a-half-year-old son: “It has changed absolutely everything. I mean, it’s changed my life. I think I’ve changed as a human being more since I’ve had Kai than in any other period in my life.
“It’s such an incredible catalyst for growth.
“I found myself questioning absolutely everything: how I spend my time, how I speak, what kind of projects I work on, how I look at the world.” [Reel.com 3.21.00]
She has also said, “I don’t think I would be doing this quality of work if it hadn’t been for my son. He’s changed me. He’s helped me to understand myself and find my place in the world.” [imdb.com]
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Actor Kyra Sedgwick is one of a number of artists who have commented about being a mother – or not, at least taking a break.
In an interview years ago, she talked about working as the star of her TV series The Closer; for about half the year, she was acting in Los Angeles, away from her family in Manhattan: Kevin Bacon and their two children.
“I’m more creatively fulfilled than I’ve ever been,” she said.
“This was a choice I made for myself, in hopes that it would be okay for the family and that I would be a role model for my kids to follow their own dreams.
“I’ve spent a lot of time with my kids, serious 24-hour time, and we have really good relationships.”
But, she added, “I am always wondering, Is this the right thing to do? Honestly, I have no idea.” [Life mag., June 9 2006.]
A full creative life without children.
Actor Anjelica Huston said “I have a very full life and I am very happy with where I am now.
“I don’t want to change anything. I once wanted to have children and it was not my choice not to have children but it hasn’t broken my heart that I haven’t.
“I think unless you’re truly whole-heartedly prepared to make a full-time commitment, you have to really think about it.” (imdb.com profile)
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See much longer article with videos, more comments from artists, from HSP therapist and author Julie Bjelland, LMFT, and more:
How does being a mother affect you as a creative person?
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"Constantly driven to learn, to create..."
In her article “The Special Challenges of Highly Intelligent and Talented Women Who Are Moms,” psychologist Belinda Seiger writes that in her private psychotherapy practice and her personal life, she has “known many gifted women who seem to possess what I refer to as the ‘rage to achieve.’
“They are constantly driven to learn, to create and to be intellectually productive even while raising young children.
“Many of these women face periods of frustration when the demands of family and their need for intellectual immersion collides.”
Mass chaos and family responsibility
Seiger adds, “As one friend who was getting her second master’s degree put it: “mass chaos” ensues when one attempts to become immersed intellectually while simultaneously remaining attentive and available for family responsibilities…”
She notes that “Like gifted children and young adults; gifted adults are distinguishable not only by their IQ’s but by their intensity, multiple talents, high energy, curiosity and obsessive need to increase in-depth knowledge in subjects that interest them.
“Trying to ignore these qualities can result in a depressed mood, anxiety and feelings of being unfulfilled emotionally and intellectually.”
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