Emotional Armor Can Feel Safer But Also Keep Us Away From Our Creativity

“At that time, I was having to put up this armor of masculinity..." Jessica Alba

"In order to make it as a creative or performer, you may have found it necessary to hide behind an emotional armor to protect yourself." Mihaela Ivan Holtz

“Perpetrators put their toxic shame onto their victims.” Ashley Judd

“I just chalked it up to a sleazy guy being sleazy.” Margot Robbie

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Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz notes in an article of hers why artists and others may use emotional armor:

"Arts and entertainment careers can be so brutal. In order to make it as a creative or performer, you may have found it necessary to hide behind an emotional armor to protect yourself.

"This emotional armor has its value. It feels safer to take on the world behind that armor. You feel like no one and nothing can hurt you, shame you, judge you, or mistreat you."

But, she adds, "this armor doesn’t allow you to truly be a part of the world.

"Your armor keeps you from putting yourself out there with all that you are. Truly being a part of the world means you show up fully and freely participate in life with your real you. That’s not something you can do when you’re hiding within a shell."

From her post Do You Hide Behind An Emotional Armor When Away From Your Art?

See more comments and links below.

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Actor and entrepreneur Jessica Alba commented in an interview article about performing in 'Sin City: A Dame to Kill For' (2014), and about movie studios using her sexuality for marketing films she worked on as "a business decision and a strategy.”

“I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with owning your sexuality. I just frankly was definitely not that person. I was very nervous about all of that, and I was quite uncomfortable in my own skin,” she explained.

“It wasn’t until I became a mom that I really started to even see myself as a woman or a sexual being or someone who owned her power and her femininity.”

But she recalls that at that earlier period of her careet, “I felt like I was very much having to put up this armor of masculinity and masculine energy so I wouldn’t be preyed on because there were a lot of predators in Hollywood from age 12 to 26.”

From article Jessica Alba Says She Put Up an “Armor of Masculinity” to Avoid Being Preyed on in Hollywood Before #MeToo By Abbey White, The Hollywood Reporter March 14, 2023. [Article links to original of above video — this is my copy.]

Trying to stay emotionally safe in an entertainment career

“Perpetrators are shameless. And they put their toxic shame onto their victims, which we then internalize and carry around with us.”

Those comments are by Ashley Judd in an ABC News interview in 2017 about her sexually abusive confrontation with then producer Harvey Weinstein.

Thankfully there has been a dramatic increase in awareness of people in power (mostly men) abusing those in positions of much less power (mostly women), especially in the entertainment business.

A late 2017 USA Today article indicated the extent of the problem – it was titled “After Weinstein: More than 100 high-powered men accused of sexual misconduct.”

Actor Margot Robbie noted some of the personal impacts of the welcome revelations in the media and court actions for these harmful offenses.

“When all of these assault allegations started coming forward, I remember hearing half of them and thinking, ‘I didn’t know that was classified as assault or sexual harassment.

“I just chalked it up to a sleazy guy being sleazy.”

But, she continued, “That goes to show that when a problem can be so prevalent in society, we just accept it as a way of life.

“I’ve definitely gone back through my memories and now I’m reassessing things with the view of, ‘OK, that’s not acceptable behaviour, and why did I accept it at the time?'” [Harper’s Bazaar Feb 21, 2018.]

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Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz helps creative people in TV/Film, performing and fine arts, and writes about the emotional and creative pleasures of their inner life – and its challenges - on her site Creative Minds Psychotherapy.

Here are some excerpts from one of her articles:

If you’re an artist or performer, you were drawn to this life for a reason.

You yearn to be seen, heard, valued. Perhaps you want to make a positive impact on the world.

You want to connect with your audience through your art and you want to be rewarded for your work.

These are all very human aspirations—healthy yearnings to live the life you feel you were meant to live.

But how will you get there from here? Maybe you’ve just started out. Or perhaps you’ve already gotten great success but still have not achieved what you’re longing for.

Maybe you are uniquely talented but just haven’t met the right people.

As we all know, the right connections can make a difference.

No matter how talented you are as an artist, you don’t achieve success in a vacuum. You need those people who can see you, believe in you, and help you rise to your potential.

Say Yes to Yourself articleWho will those people be? Producers, casting directors, agents, managers, production company owners?

And what will they ask of you to help you succeed?

As we’ve seen recently, all over the news, many talented artists feel torn apart between choosing their career or their emotional integrity.

Yet, what about others who have risen to the height of success without compromising their integrity at all? Was it just luck, or did they make different choices along the way?

Yes, you can create your successful career without compromising your emotional integrity.

You can work your way to success while asserting your emotional right to say yes to yourself and no to abuse.

You don’t have to accept the outdated culture in the arts and entertainment world that you have sell your mind, body, or soul to succeed.

Of course that reality exists in Hollywood, and elsewhere; there are those who abuse others for their own selfish gain.

But there’s another reality right alongside it—people of influence who have integrity, people who will authentically value your talent and endeavors, who will support you toward your success because it’s mutually beneficial.

They want to make art with talented artists and they value genuine professional relationships.

Read more in Say Yes to Yourself! Say No to Abuse! by Mihaela Ivan Holtz.

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